"They Stabbed Me and Held a Knife to My Throat… But I Will Never Renounce My Faith": The Daughter of a Pastor Who Converted to Islam Tells Her Harrowing Story)
In a world where beliefs collide and destinies intersect, Ruba Qawwar's story stands as one of the most painful and profound human tales of religious conversion. She is a woman who grew up in a Christian family dedicated to missionary work, studied theology to become a church teacher, and then read the Quran intending to expose its errors. Months later, she found herself washing her wounds after her own family stabbed her because she uttered the Shahada (the Islamic declaration of faith). Ruba's story is a search for truth at a price she never expected: the price of blood.
Beginnings: Born in the Church, Lived in the Church
Ruba Qawwar was born on April 30, 1981, in Denmark, into a Christian family wholly devoted to missionary work. Her grandfather was a church pastor. When the family returned to Jordan in 1985, her father decided to become a pastor, following in his father's footsteps. Ruba recalls: "We literally lived on the second floor of the church. The first floor was the church itself. We could hear everything through the microphones."
Ruba grew up in a strict religious environment. She studied the Bible from cover to cover, enrolled in a theological seminary, and began a master's degree in theology and missiology. At the age of twelve, she became a Sunday school teacher, eventually leading the youth group. She was a devout believer, but her first questions began after her father's death in 2004. She says: "My father was everything to me. He left us with six children, the youngest only seven. I started asking: Why does God do this? Why does He take good people away?"
Discovering the "Other": A Missionary Quest Turns into a Search for Truth
When the family immigrated to the United States in 2002, Ruba's mission was clear: to evangelize non-Christians. In college, she participated in "International Day," where she met Muslims and Jews. She says: "I wanted to guide them to Christianity. They started asking me questions. They would ask, 'Where in the Bible did Jesus say, "I am God"?' I would immediately answer, 'I and the Father are one,' and 'Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.' But when I went home, I started thinking: their questions were very logical."
Ruba decided to re-read the Bible, this time with a critical eye. Her shock was immense. She could not find a single explicit verse where Jesus says, "Worship me, for I am God." She came to John 17:3, where Jesus says: "And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." Ruba says: "At that moment, I realized: There is no god but God (Allah), and Jesus is the Messenger of God."
The Quran Challenge: When the Plan Backfired
After these discoveries, Ruba decided to take on a new challenge. She says: "I said to myself, I will read the Quran. I will find its errors and show them their contradictions, just as they claim the Bible is corrupted." She started reading Surat Al-Baqarah, then Aal-Imran, then Al-Ma'idah. She recalls: "If Jesus wasn't in the Quran, I might never have converted to Islam. But seeing Jesus as a child saying, 'Indeed, I am the servant of Allah' (Surah Maryam 19:30) answered my questions."
The turning point came in Surat Al-Ma'idah (5:83): "And when they hear what has been revealed to the Messenger, you see their eyes overflowing with tears because of what they have recognized of the truth." Ruba says: "I started crying. At that moment, I said: O God, I want the truth. I want Islam."
The First Blood: Stabbed with a Knife and Threatened with Death
The family's reaction was devastating. Ruba says: "When I told them I had embraced Islam, they looked at me like I was crazy. They said, 'Two months ago, you said you would die a Christian! What changed?'"
But the surprise was far worse. A family member stabbed her in the left arm with a knife. The deep scar remains a witness to that moment. They hit her on the head with a large crystal vase and choked her until she lost consciousness. The beating lasted for two hours. She recounts: "I woke up on the couch and heard someone say, 'I did this because I love you. You are making a mistake.' Then they disowned me: 'You are no longer our daughter.'"
They locked her in a room and confiscated her phone. She managed to find an old phone in a drain and called the police. When the police arrived, she was covered in blood and struggling to breathe. Initially, the police officer didn't believe her. She says: "He told me, 'You are an adult. No one can force a religion on you.' But he couldn't imagine a family doing this to their own daughter."
Knife to the Throat: "We Will Kill You Like the Companions Were Killed"
That was not the last time. After she left, the police returned to her home three times due to death threats. The second time, a family member held a knife to her throat. Ruba recounts: "He said, 'You are saying the Shahada? Let me kill you just as the Companions of the Prophet were killed.'" They knew the history of Islam better than she did at the time. They were aware that the early Muslims (Sahabah) were tortured and killed for their faith, and they were prepared to repeat the scenario.
Double Isolation: Between Angry Christians and Suspicious Muslims
After Ruba's escape, a new journey of suffering began. She says: "I went to Jordan, but I found no support. At the airport, they detained me and took me to prison. They said, 'This is a protective measure for you. We don't have a system to support new Muslims.'" Her fiancé left her, leaving her homeless and friendless.
Then the rumors started. "They said I was a spy for the church. They said I converted to Islam just to find out who was hiding their faith and report them." Even the mosque turned her away. She recalls: "When I went to pray, they said, 'You don't deserve to be here.'"
But God had not abandoned her. A woman who didn't know her intervened and defended her, saying, "If you see the spirit of faith leaving her throat, then speak. But as long as she is a Muslim and has repented to God, she has the right to pray here."
The Mission: Protection and Advocacy
After five years of suffering, Ruba received an invitation to Egypt to give lectures on Christianity and Islam. She founded a non-profit organization to help refugees, not only with food and shelter but also to protect them from Christian missionary efforts. She says: "I feel my role is to be a guardian for these families. Muslims must learn their religion so they know how to answer questions. And if they don't know the answer, it's okay to say, 'I don't know,' and seek help."
Conclusion: Scars on the Body, Testimony of Faith
Today, Ruba Qawwar bears deep scars on her arm and head. Each scar reminds her of the price she paid. But she says: "I have never regretted it. I found the truth. I found peace."
Her final message to anyone doubting their faith or who has left it: "God's doors are always open. You are welcome back at any time."
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