The Man Who Wanted to Bomb a Mosque... And Found Islam
The Story of Richard McKinney: From Hatred to Faith
By Richard McKinney
I didn't know if I needed to be closer or if my plan would work. I sat there watching the mosque. The plan was simple: wait until Friday prayers during Ramadan, when the mosque would be filled with worshippers. I would place the bomb I had made with my own hands behind the building, where no one ever walked. Then I would wait.
This is how Richard McKinney, a former U.S. Army soldier who served combat tours in Panama, Iraq, and Somalia, used to think. A man who had seen death face to face, who had convinced himself that all Muslims were enemies to be eliminated.
From California to the Battlefields
I was born in California and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio. I grew up with Christian teachings like most American children, but religion never played a major role in my life. It all seemed more superstitious than it should have been. I believed in my country, and I had no better example: the flag was my cross.
I joined the Army when I was 18. I was a teenager involved in a lot of bad things—drugs, running away from home. Joining the Marine Corps was a wise decision to get away from all those negative elements.
I had two combat tours: Panama in 1989, Desert Shield and Desert Storm in 1990-1991, then Somalia in 1992-1993. I got out and tried to be a civilian for two years, but I went back to the Army. I finally retired after being wounded in Iraq in 2006.
I embraced Islam in 2009.
"These Muslims Are Trying to Kill Me"
During my last injury in Iraq in 2006, we were doing a quick operation on a building where a high-ranking Al-Qaeda member was supposedly located. We were fully prepared, but the building was empty. I went to the second floor to make sure it was clear, and we were getting ready to leave the building. I looked at the street to make sure everything was okay before taking my team back.
The last thing I remember was a huge IED under the building that exploded straight up and hit me directly.
They told me the bomb blew me into the street. I don't remember any of it. But the injury was severe, and I still have some effects from it.
Everything just compounded in my head. This is what all these people do. These Muslims are trying to kill me. And even though I wanted to die, I wanted to hate somebody more. It was easy because at that time, Islam was the common enemy. Everybody hates Muslims.
I came home with all these thoughts, all this anger. And I said: There's something I can do.
I devised a plan.
Building the Bomb and Planning the Attack
I could still get various components to make a bomb. Over three years, that's what I did. I made that bomb. I took my time, and while I kept planning, I thought: How will I find these men? Sometimes many of them don't show up.
I said: Ramadan. Maybe Ramadan Friday afternoon, everyone will be there.
I used to tell Christians: This is like Catholics at Christmas mass—you might not see them any other time of the year, but they'll be there on Christmas.
There was an Islamic center in my hometown. I didn't really know anything about these people. But I had seen the place several different times. I watched the flow of people on Fridays, and I knew their behavior and what they did.
I thought: If I put a bomb here, will they find it? I don't want that to happen.
That's why I couldn't find a place at all—no one ever walked around this building. No one. On the back side, I found a good spot for the bomb. I was going to put it there at midnight.
The night before, there was a bank maybe 2,500 meters away. Hit or miss—I wasn't sure about the range. I didn't know if I needed to be closer or if the plan would work. But I sat there—the plan was to sit and wait. I knew their prayer time, so I sat watching.
Weren't you afraid of the consequences of doing something like that?
I was going to say something important. A lot of people think this is crazy on many different levels. But I had no intention of getting away with it. I knew they would catch me. I knew I would go to trial. I was good with that—I might not get a military funeral, but eventually people would think I was a hero because I was right.
I went to scout the mosque, and I actually found the best place to put the bomb with my knowledge of explosives.
His Seven-Year-Old Daughter's Look That Changed Everything
Then my daughter told me about this Muslim child who was in school with her. I thought I had failed my family because I couldn't protect her. I can't protect her in school from these Muslims. It was consuming my thoughts.
I had really lost my mind.
My seven-year-old daughter looked at my face as if I had just lost everything. Her look was as if she was wondering whether I loved her or not. Because I was so racist. I was against these Muslims just because they looked a certain way or they did a certain thing. That was it.
After I cursed them with all the different words that came out of my mouth, after calling them every racist slur—that's the best way I can describe it—I went into my bedroom, sat on the bed, and started crying a little.
I said: "Okay, you need to find proof, man. You're right. I believed in myself. I was right because they're evil, they want to kill us all, right?"
But I didn't have any tangible evidence to show my daughter. So I had to go get it. Where would I get it? The mosque. Nowhere else.
I didn't want to be there. Of course I was nervous, trying to maintain my composure. I found out later from some people there that I hadn't done a very good job of hiding my nervousness.
Entering the Mosque: The Holy Grail of Evil
I entered the mosque and met them. I introduced myself as someone who wanted to learn more about Islam. Not a complete lie, but I didn't tell them my real intention.
I talked to several people, and they introduced me to others. It was Friday. I went on Friday—they weren't there on Sundays. I listened to the sermon.
I thought to myself: "Man, this sounds good. They're only saying that because I'm here. I already know. Maybe they have people downstairs who are propaganda video specialists. I already know."
All of this was going through my mind.
Then they gave me the Quran. They told me to take it home and read it, and come back when I had questions.
I was so happy. In my mind, I felt like I had just received the Holy Grail of evil. I'll have someone explain to me what's in the book. Amazing! This is better than winning the lottery. I won't have to do any work.
That's exactly what I did. I read it. Then I came back.
I came back a lot. I surprised them—this non-Muslim keeps coming, he's there all the time!
I was reading a lot and I had questions, so I kept going to them.
The Quran Breaks Down the Wall of Hatred
After a while, I finally understood. All religions have some kind of sacred text. The text is an instruction book that teaches them how they're supposed to live their lives. To guide them in a certain direction. And you're supposed to live according to what's in the book as much as you can.
I read what was in the Quran. And my impression of Islam—regarding the people who were shooting at me and all those horrible things they were doing—none of that matched.
But these people here, in Muncie, Indiana, were actually practicing what was in the Quran. I could give examples of things they were doing that were in the Quran. So they are like that, and they're not evil like I imagined.
And here I finally realized clearly: The people I had taken my impression of Islam from were a bad example. This is not Islam. This is more like Islam.
I started to change a little. But then I went through phases: Maybe these are the good Muslims? I heard there are some good Muslims, maybe these are the good ones, maybe these are the nice ones.
And as I got to know others, other Muslims, and with continuous internet research and watching both good and bad YouTube videos, I still thought: They still have really bad people.
So I would watch this and compare it to what's in the book. Then I realized: The bad people have no connection to what's actually there. There's no connection between what's in the book and what they're saying. There's no connection, man!
I kept reading more and more, and my bad feelings slowly began to dissipate until they disappeared.
I would see specific verses in the Quran, like verse 32 of Surah Al-Ma'idah: "Whoever kills a soul unless for a soul or for corruption [done] in the land - it is as if he had slain mankind entirely."
There is no random killing. The killing that those people were committing was what made me have this wrong impression of Islam.
I kept reading, and I moved to other verses: "O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you."
I could see that here. This person is involved in local government, the Rotary Club, and all these other organizations. Okay, I get it.
Everything started moving in this direction.
The Dream That Changed Everything
I had dreams where there was blood on the paper target I was aiming at with my rifle. I was training, aiming at a paper target downrange. I was looking at my enemies and dehumanizing them. They were just targets. That was one of the ways of dealing with taking people's souls, killing them.
I remember one of my last dreams. That paper target started bleeding. I went down and wiped the blood. It kept bleeding and bleeding.
At that point, I decided I needed to embrace Islam. Because now I see my humanity returning. I hadn't had humanity for a long time. I didn't even know what it was.
I came back and saw Islam and its teachings, which are from God and commanded by the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). All of this was giving me something. Giving me understanding. I understood who, what, when, where, and why. It answered all my questions.
I was at the peak of happiness. It was the best decision I made as an adult.
"No Way!" – The Funny Story of My Shahada
I decided to pronounce the Shahada. Where did I go first?
I went back to the Islamic Center on Friday. I met two men I had already gotten to know and built a relationship with. I went to them and said: "I want to pronounce the Shahada."
They were standing side by side. They looked at each other, then looked at me simultaneously and said: "No way!"
This is a true story! Oh my God!
I was surprised and said: "What do you mean, 'no way'?"
They said: "Brother, you need to learn more."
They looked at each other, then back at me: "Okay... come on."
This is a true story. And it was a wonderful experience.
I pronounced the Shahada in English, then we said it in Arabic. I pronounced it in Arabic as best as I could, because my knowledge of Arabic is less than elementary education.
I felt like God lifted this huge burden from me. I stood there, raised my hands, and felt a feeling I don't really know how to explain. It was a renewal of my life. I got a new life now.
Amazing! Did you tell them you were going to bomb this place?
(laughs)
The Confession... And the FBI
I went to college later in life. I had spent about 40 years as a stranger and became a freshman in college. Being older and having all this life experience from everything I'd been through benefited me greatly. My relationship with my professors was different from the 20-year-old students. We were more like friends than teacher-student.
I was sitting in one of my professors' offices one afternoon, having coffee. I don't know why I told the professor what I told her. I told her the story.
I stood there, confessed. She was very impressed. She told me: "You need to tell people this story. This could change people's lives."
I said: "Really?"
She said: "What are you doing this afternoon?"
I said: "I'll finish my coffee and go home."
She said: "No. You're telling this story in my next lecture. You're going to tell that story."
So I did.
Someone in the lecture said: "Wait a minute. This man knows how to make a bomb, and now he's a Muslim? That's a disaster! We need to call someone."
So he called. He called the FBI.
Okay, he called the FBI?!
Yes. And I wasn't upset at all. This was all after the bomb was gone. I had already disposed of it. Because contrary to popular belief, I'm a Muslim and I don't need a bomb.
Okay, there's no evidence really, right?
They actually found evidence. The bomb-sniffing dog detected that explosives had been there before. That was it. Because I took it to where I had stored it.
After that happened, everyone started finding out. In fact, that's when my wife discovered it. I hadn't told anyone about this. I was the only one who knew anything about it. Because this was mine, it was pure self-love. I'm the one doing this, nobody else. Plus, I knew that the more people who knew, the greater the chance I wouldn't be able to carry it out.
Bound in the Front Yard
My wife found me sitting in handcuffs in our front yard. She and my daughter pulled up to the house. I was sitting there in the front yard. They had cuffed me so they could control me—it's a security measure. It's kind of wrong because legally you're under arrest once the cuffs come off, but they tell you you're not. But it's just legal so they can control you in case something happens.
That's when my wife and daughter stopped the car. They got out not knowing what to think.
After that, people at the mosque started finding out. They began hearing stories, plus it was published in the newspaper.
They confronted me. I was invited to dinner at one of the family home foundation centers, and there were other Muslims there. I was happy to be there.
Suddenly, Bibi Bahrami asked me: "Brother Richard, what is this we hear about you almost bombing the Islamic center?"
I was so ashamed at that point. These people were sheltering me. They had no reason to, knowing that I was a soldier who had gone to the countries they came from. They knew some of the things I had done, yet they welcomed me anyway. They accepted me.
I sat there and told them the whole truth. This is what I was going to do. I looked at all of them and said: "Because of you, I didn't do it. You showed me Islam."
I even told her: "Let's set Islam aside for a second. You showed me what humanity is, and that saved all our lives."
They were shocked, but they were happy. Two of the brothers came and hugged me. I wasn't used to it yet—I didn't like hugging at all. I told them: "Give me some space!"
But you know, it was incredible. It passed, and it worked. That's why I do this. These Muslims care about you, man. They care. Because this is how they were raised—they were raised on the Quran.
Polygamy and the Surprise for My Wife
I went and pronounced the Shahada, then came home. I fell asleep on the couch, feeling like I had just come from work or something.
My wife said: "Is everything okay?" She was worried I might do something, but she had no idea what.
I said: "No, everything's fine."
She said: "Okay."
I looked at her and said: "I'm a Muslim."
This is another funny true story, but it's true.
She said: "What?!"
I said: "Yeah, I pronounced the Shahada."
She was astonished: "You what?!"
She didn't know anything about Islam, just like me. I tried to explain to her as best I could, using examples like baptism and such.
She said she didn't know what to do. She stood there and said: "Okay, I'll tell you something right now. I'm not putting anything on my head. Okay?"
I said: "You're not Muslim." I didn't even think this was a conversation. Everything was fine.
Then she came back and said something else: "If you want more than one wife, I won't be one of them."
I was thinking to myself: "I'm not even sure I want that!"
I had pronounced the Shahada and we were leaving the university, and I was still kind of amazed. But I like to joke, so I looked at her while I was driving and said: "Okay, you're Muslim now. Let's talk about polygamy."
She gave me an angry look and said: "Don't make me stop this car!"
I said: "I'm driving. Are you going to stop the car while I'm driving?!"
She said: "I'll stop it!"
I said: "Great!"
And actually, Dr. Bilal did it—he made her pronounce the Shahada. Yes, he was visiting Muncie and gave a lecture at the university there. My wife and daughter went with me. I think she had questions she needed answers to, and I couldn't answer them. That night, he answered them.
So she pronounced the Shahada.
Why All of This?
When I look back on my journey to this transformation, what do I think?
I hated myself for all the things I did overseas. I acted as if I was doing everything for the right and noble reasons. But deep down, I knew it wasn't. I would never have admitted it, but I knew it. And it was draining me.
I was definitely the prime candidate for suicide at that time.
In the documentary "Stranger at the Gate," there's a picture of these men in their black uniforms with things all over their faces. Whatever it was, this was my team. I'm the only one still alive from that team.
Everyone else from this military team got out and committed suicide. I felt like I was going to do it for a long time. And like I said, I went back to the Army. I got out for two years and went straight back to the Army because there was nothing here. I would have ended up like those men.
And this is all the will and grace of God.
When I first became Muslim, I asked this question: "Why did You make me go through all of this, God? Why couldn't You have just taken me to a bookstore, had me find a copy of the Quran, and start reading? Why did I have to do all of that?"
You know, of course this is none of my business. But I finally came to understand it.
My thinking was completely wrong. I had to go through all of that to be where I am now. Because now I have another mission. I have a destiny. I have a purpose and goal in my life now. And I feel like I finally understand that.
A Message to the World
If there was an opportunity to speak to all non-Muslims in the world, what would you want to tell them?
I've thought about this for a long time, actually. What would I say if any non-Muslim approached me wanting answers?
Let's say: First thing, take a deep breath and calm down.
Take a deep breath and calm down.
Take a deep breath and calm down.
These feelings you have are not real.
Take a deep breath and calm down.
And read the Quran.
Just that.
Even if you don't become Muslim, you will gain wisdom from the words in the Quran. Because that's what's in the book.
Richard McKinney, a former U.S. Army soldier, was on the verge of bombing an Islamic center in Indiana. Today, he is a Muslim who calls to Islam and travels to tell his story, trying to change the narrative about Islam and Muslims.
He says: "These Muslims care about you. Because this is how they were raised—they were raised on the Quran."
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